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“Gen-X falling for Temu scams” meets Gen-Z trends: the TikTok Shop has many of us in a chokehold. There are hundreds of thousands of cool, funky, or downright strange items that you can spend your hard-earned $10/hr on. Do you need the newest, most popular fidget? Go ahead and search for it! A book on government conspiracies? Put it in the cart! A brightly-colored eyeshadow palette that has colors that won’t come off? Go get it, girl. Actually, skip that one. Trust me.
The TikTok Shop offers a wide range of absolutely transcendent items; I couldn’t just create one “Top 5” list. So instead, I made three: Fake LEGO sets, T-shirts, and sticker packs, and I gave them each a rating along the way.
LEGO Sets
#5. Howl’s Moving Castle?
If I showed you this image and asked you what it was a LEGO set of, what would you guess? I would say something like “brown lump with gadgets on it.” I try not to be a hater, but this? This is terrible. Like, comically bad. I almost want to buy this just because of how ridiculous it is. I’m giving it a bonus pity-point because I genuinely cannot stop laughing at it.
1/10
#4. Cute Lighthouse
This lighthouse has a whopping 1.4-star review. Turns out, the box isn’t even as big as the average person’s hand. For under four dollars, I guess the reviewers should have expected that. It is pretty, though.
4/10
#3 “Happy Burger”
This “Bob’s Burgers” LEGO rendition is honestly really cute and well-done. I love “Bob’s Burgers,” and I really appreciate the reflection of the lives of the Belcher’s in LEGO form. I truthfully was pretty close to buying it, but I can’t get past the copyright-evading sign on the front. “Happy Burger?” Really? Also, it’s absurdly expensive. LEGO can get away with those prices, but the TikTok Shop definitely cannot.
6/10
#2 Futuristic Flying Vehicle
I don’t know why this is on this list. I have nothing to say about it. There’s just something about it that I find really funny. Maybe the name, or perhaps the fact that it looks like a creation from “SpongeBob SquarePants.” I don’t know.
8/10
#1 “This is Fine” Dog
I know this meme is painfully old and overdone, but I think it’s cute in LEGO form. His eyes and his little hat are adorable, I honestly would buy this unironically. It’s a little expensive, but not terrible. Maybe we should put this meme out of its misery, but I think the LEGO set will be funny for a little longer.
9/10
T-Shirts
#5 Tummy Ache Survivor
Talk about overdone memes– the whole “tummy ache” thing is starting to annoy me a little. I know that I’m a bit of a hypocrite for being okay with a literal decade-old meme in LEGO form but not a silly t-shirt, but alas. It’s still cute, just overdone.
4/10
#4 Fih
Oh, Fih. I wish I could accept your call. It agonizes me that I’ll never truly hear your voice.
Hilarious, but it makes me think of what could be. I love you, Fih.
7/10
#3 I Have to Say Weird Stuff or I Will Die
Agonizingly relatable, but I would be too scared to wear it in public. It is strangely off-putting, which may be the point, but still. Plus, everyone already knows this about me, so no need for me to purchase it.
8/10
#2 I Have Rabies
This is a work of art. The short, simple phrase, the baroque font, the plain black background, it is everything I ever could have dreamed of. Perfection.
10/10
#1 Dost Thou Even Hoist?
Again, painfully old meme, but this is genuinely one of the best t-shirts I’ve ever seen in my life. I actually purchased it for Mr. Tuffiash for Christmas; it is now proudly displayed in his room. Take a stop down to see the beauty for yourself!
10/10
Stickers
#5. Neon Sticker Pack
Cute, but clearly AI-generated. Not to be that person who lectures about AI art, but I love real artists, and I would much rather buy from them.
0/10
#4.”Y2K”
I did actually fall for this pack and ended up buying these stickers. A lot of them are cute, but so many are so unbelievably cringe that it just devalues the whole pack. “City Girl :P” wrap it up! Also, I don’t think the artist really knows what the “Y2K” aesthetic is. I like some of the stickers, but it is hit-or-miss overall.
4/10
#3. Stupid Canadian Wolf Bird
I love ducks, so I think this is really funny, but I feel like it’s a reference I’m not understanding. What is a “wolf bird?” Is there a specific joke there for hunters, or, even scarier, Canadians?
7/10
#2. Vintage Concert Tickets
I unironically think this is really cool, and I’m heavily considering buying it. They have a really wide variety of bands on each sticker, and I think it’s cool that they are all different shapes and colors. This would be great for an art project, decorating the back of your laptop, or even just sprinkling around different items throughout your room.
10/10
#1. The Dog Pack
I. Love. Dogs. Honestly, who doesn’t? All of these stickers are so cute– plus, they’re so versatile. They have all types of dog breeds with different accessories, poses, and smiles on their little faces. There’s something for everyone, and I think that’s great! It’s expensive for a sticker pack, but other than that, I have no notes; they’re all so adorable.
10/10
So, should you buy these things? Well, the items are typically pretty funny for a low price, so it really would not be a bad idea. The quality is usually pretty low, but that is typically reflected by the price. Plus, TikTok Shop is genuinely supportive of its users and has lots of data protection in place. While there is no real meaning to many of these items, they serve as a whimsical pick-me-up, and I think that’s beautiful. If life was meant to be all serious, deep, and meaningful, we would be bored. So, if you find something funny with no meaning, I think you should go ahead and buy it. Make your life yours, one stupid purchase at a time.
